Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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