May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
