Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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