Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize