This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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