We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
