you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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