The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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