Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to make a zoo with you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
