Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
