Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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