We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
