Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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