Yo dont text me then not text me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
