I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
