You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
