I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
