i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
