"it" just moved
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
