So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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