She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
