covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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