hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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