Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
