Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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