After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
