I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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