So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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