I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
