We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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