their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
