Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
