I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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