Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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