He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
