I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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