We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
