Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
