Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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