I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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