Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
