call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
