He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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