Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
