meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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