only if we run a train.
done.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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