Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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