Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
