I cockslap morals
I smell stomach acid.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
