She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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